I was going to do a video with 2,008 cum shots to thank a wonderful american lady (not often those 3 words appear in the same sentence!) for making a silk purse from my sow's ear of a year - but then I realised time was short, so I thought fuck it, I'll have a cup of tea and write a poem instead!!!
If It Weren't For The Shitty Bits, My Life'd Be Fine!
Well thanks a lot 2008. Thanks a lot in so many ways
An Annus horribilis as the Queen often says
A year dead, it’s rotting corpse now lays
If it weren’t for the shitty bits, my life’d be fine!
A relationship pulled apart, left tattered, torn and bitter
A New Year’s resolution failed – I’m clearly no fitter
And it was only March – could things get any shitter?
If it weren’t for the shitty bits, my life’d be fine!
Two cats laid to rest that no longer find comfort on my lap
A love lost to reality that upped and left as I took a nap
Spring approached and still things were surprisingly crap
If it weren’t for the shitty bits, my life’d be fine!
Turning 40 and officially middle aged
Renting a friend’s box room – I’m officially caged
And the dripping tap, well that simply left me enraged
If it weren’t for the shitty bits, my life’d be fine!
A fixed penalty notice and speeding fines
In my holiday destination, the sun never shines
I bludgeon through the year ignoring the signs
If it weren’t for the shitty bits, my life’d be fine!
The credit crunch, downturn in sales raising financial fears
A dodgy car with unfixed dodgy gears
Autumn’s here, and so still are my tears
If it weren’t for the shitty bits, my life’d be fine!
But through it all, I clung to my ray of light
The Someone I found that made everything more than alright
The present ok, the lows managed. The future bright!
If it weren’t for the shitty bits, my life’d be fine!
So thank you 2008. Thank you in just one way
For giving me the chance to open my heart and say
Thank you baby, for being there and coming my way!
Yes there were shitty bits – but thanks to you, my life is fine!
xoxo